Parenting Styles: Which One Feels Like Love?

I learned in college about these different types of parenting. Happily, I realized that my parents were mostly authoritative parents, so I knew what it felt like to be brought up like that. I’ve adapted them with my understanding of faith and gospel doctrine. For the last two decades, my husband and I have intentionally strived to parent our children like our Heavenly Parents with gentle authority. Parenting was and is such a joy that I would do it all over again. Our kids are generally happy, productive, considerate, and confident in themselves and in God.

Many times, I’ve been asked to share how I parent, and so the best way to share is to highlight the different types of parenting. This way people can become aware of themselves, leading to more intentional parenting. Trust yourself and call upon God to assist you daily. When you feel peace in your heart, then you can pass that peace on. Fulfill your fundamental human needs with God so you don’t burden your children with that responsibility. Children need consistency, reliability, and stability to develop trust and security. That trust and security helps children thrive and achieve. It helps children become contributing members of society, thus creating more of a Zion society. Imagine if all parents learned this—we would have heaven on earth.

We all want the same beautiful outcome: confident, happy, emotionally intelligent children who grow into kind, contributing adults.

No parent is perfect—we’re all a mix of styles at different moments.

But when we become aware of them, we can gently shift toward the one that feels most like God’s parenting: loving, wise, firm, and trusting.

The Four Main Parenting Styles

Authoritarian Parenting (High control, low warmth)

• Extremely strict, fear-based rules

• “Because I said so” ends discussion

• Punishes mistakes harshly, little empathy or explanation

• Children must obey without question

• Often creates fearful, anxious, or rebellious adults

• Kids may grow up feeling they can’t be trusted to choose wisely

Permissive Parenting (Low control, high warmth)

• Child-driven, focused on comfort and avoiding conflict

• Few consistent rules or boundaries

• Overindulges to keep peace

• Parents rescue from consequences, feel overly responsible

• Unintentionally teaches entitlement, unreliability, and lack of accountability

• Children may struggle with self-discipline and respect for others

Neglectful Parenting (Low control, low warmth)

• Uninvolved or absent emotionally/physically

• Little guidance, nurturing, or structure

• Parents prioritize their own needs over the child’s

• Children feel unseen, unsafe, and unvalued

• Often leads to instability, distrust, and difficulty forming healthy bonds

Authoritative Parenting (High warmth, high guidance — the ideal)

• Nurturing, responsive, and supportive

• Firm standards rooted in clear principles (not just rules)

• Explains “why” with love and reasoning

• Allows natural consequences to teach (without added shame)

• Trusts children to grow into wise decision-makers

• Creates closeness, safety, and mutual respect

• Children grow confident, considerate, faith-filled, and capable

How to Move Toward Authoritative Parenting

This style mirrors our Heavenly Parents: loving yet guiding, trusting yet clear.

Here are gentle steps to lean into it:

• Simplify life to create time and presence with your family

• Plan daily, weekly, and age-appropriate life lessons

• Set loving milestones and goals for their whole childhood

• Model continual self-improvement and faith

• Share daily family meals for connection and joy

• Pray together and encourage personal prayer

• Study scriptures daily—separately and as a family

• Build memories through fun, interactive activities

• Share your own childhood stories and family history for roots

• Model loving service and sacrifice for family and others

• Teach collaboration through shared projects and teamwork

• Let natural consequences teach—without piling on guilt

• Speak with respect, empathy, and encouragement

• Trust God’s role in their growth—He’s parenting alongside you

A Loving Conclusion

Parenting isn’t about perfection—it’s about intention, love, and trusting God’s design in your children.

When we parent with warmth and wise guidance, we create safety, security, and strength.

Your influence is powerful and sacred. 

You don’t have to do it alone.

Call upon Heavenly Father daily—He is the perfect parent and will guide you with love.

Start small today. One kind boundary. One clear principle shared. One moment of presence.

Create Zion in your home and let it spread into your community and the external world outside of it.

Your family—and the world—will feel the difference.

You are enough. You are called. You are loved.

Let’s raise children who know they are children of God—and live like it.